Writer: Paul Bright
Genre: Drama, Romance
Country: USA
Language: English
Year: 2006
Duration: 96 min
Duration: 96 min
Stars: Paul Bright, Tim Jones, Peggy Mae Binn
IMDB:
Good First Draft
3/10
Author: jt-164 from United States
6 February 2007
First  off, it seems that Tim Jones, the executive producer and a actor in  this film, passed away in August of 2006. May he rest in peace, and  thank you for having made the film. Critiques are fine, but I also want  to point out that, regardless of constructive criticism, that these  people made the film at ALL puts them a far sight ahead of most people.  Congrats and cudos to the entire cast & crew!That said…
This  has some good potentials, but suffered from pace issues in several  places. Pregnant pauses that should have been picked out by a decent  editor made the film drag. The audience would certainly have preferred a  shorter film that moved at more brisk a pace. Some of the dialogue is  trite, some of it awkward, and too often the blocking looks as though it  was made for stage. The best scenes are between the two leads when they  forget to act and just have conversation, while they’re getting to know  each other.
The filmmaker intended to have fun  with it, and it does demonstrate a somewhat surreal whimsical feeling,  but we could have had more constant reminders, whether via some  mechanism, lense coloring, or something to remind us not to expect  reality. Then the departures might not have been so taxing.
Did  I enjoy the DVD? Yes, despite the flaws (and myself) I did. But I  wouldn’t wittingly have parted with $27 for a copy, except to support  the work.
It’s a good first draft. I’d have  re-edited, re-shot some scenes… but that would mean remaking the film  altogether in this case. The expenses were obviously minimal by  Hollywood standards. With some fine-tuning and rewrites, maybe some more  outside help, this could have been a much better movie.
I applaud the effort. It’s good to see gay independent filmmakers not falling back on cheap sex sells. Now to lose the clichés.
To  The Writer/Director: Paul, there ARE some homo men who don’t have gay  mannerisms. They may even be a substantial portion of the population.  They’re just inherently unseen. It might have been nice to show this as  well, and set another example of tolerance in the process, as you did by  this remarkable town you’ve created. Get ahold of me before you start  your next production. I’d be glad to pitch in!

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