Writer: Paul Bright
Genre: Drama, Romance
Country: USA
Language: English
Year: 2006
Duration: 96 min
Duration: 96 min
Stars: Paul Bright, Tim Jones, Peggy Mae Binn
IMDB:
Good First Draft
3/10
Author: jt-164 from United States
6 February 2007
First off, it seems that Tim Jones, the executive producer and a actor in this film, passed away in August of 2006. May he rest in peace, and thank you for having made the film. Critiques are fine, but I also want to point out that, regardless of constructive criticism, that these people made the film at ALL puts them a far sight ahead of most people. Congrats and cudos to the entire cast & crew!
That said…
This has some good potentials, but suffered from pace issues in several places. Pregnant pauses that should have been picked out by a decent editor made the film drag. The audience would certainly have preferred a shorter film that moved at more brisk a pace. Some of the dialogue is trite, some of it awkward, and too often the blocking looks as though it was made for stage. The best scenes are between the two leads when they forget to act and just have conversation, while they’re getting to know each other.
The filmmaker intended to have fun with it, and it does demonstrate a somewhat surreal whimsical feeling, but we could have had more constant reminders, whether via some mechanism, lense coloring, or something to remind us not to expect reality. Then the departures might not have been so taxing.
Did I enjoy the DVD? Yes, despite the flaws (and myself) I did. But I wouldn’t wittingly have parted with $27 for a copy, except to support the work.
It’s a good first draft. I’d have re-edited, re-shot some scenes… but that would mean remaking the film altogether in this case. The expenses were obviously minimal by Hollywood standards. With some fine-tuning and rewrites, maybe some more outside help, this could have been a much better movie.
I applaud the effort. It’s good to see gay independent filmmakers not falling back on cheap sex sells. Now to lose the clichés.
To The Writer/Director: Paul, there ARE some homo men who don’t have gay mannerisms. They may even be a substantial portion of the population. They’re just inherently unseen. It might have been nice to show this as well, and set another example of tolerance in the process, as you did by this remarkable town you’ve created. Get ahold of me before you start your next production. I’d be glad to pitch in!
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